Language of Love

This week's Mixed Media Memoirs topic is "My Symbolic Language". I was thinking about what I say and how I feel everyday. When I came back from work today, I turned on a CD/DVD that a friend of mine made me with pictures that blend into eachother of our last two visits together. She sent it to me last summer and this is the longest we have gone without seeing eachother, so I played it and Kayla and I watched this 10 minute clip over and over and sang the song, Elton John's You'll be Blessed. I was crying not from being sad, but from being so happy that I have such wonderful times and memories. The year before that for my birthday she sent a double wooden frame of a picture of me and her youngest, one on each side of the frame. I miss her, and of course I tried to call her and could not get in touch, I told her how much I missed her and I had a few words from a song for her, put the phone up so she could hear that we were playing our song. So I was thinking of everything I say and do and trying to find a common theme, and I picked Love. I am a person that communicates my love for all of the people I know and care about. I got a bunch of new stamping stuff, pastels, and some different powders that you stamp with clear stamps and then brush on pastels and chalks, while I was experimenting, I figured I would make a little collage out of it. I will be on vacation this coming week, so I will be trying to keep from the computer and focusing on quality time with my daughter, and hopefully I will get some pictures to share when I come back.

What Worked for Me

A few weeks ago, 'What Worked for Me' was the topic for Mixed Media Memoirs . As I lay in bed, I wondered what has helped me in being a happier person and what have I done differently to get excited each and every day to wake up and take on the day? Then I thought of honesty and how I have become more honest with myself, admitting what doesn't make me smile, and changing those things that affect my mood each day. I have been doing great with my diet and exercising, not necessarily in it right now to lose the weight, but to feel better and take steps towards being happier and healthier. I had a great week and one of the reasons why I decided not to 'run away' on a vacation is because I want to eat healthy, exercise and continue on this path. I know that we can all do that when we are on vacation (yeah right!) and I thought, what would happen if I passed out while working out in the hotel room and Kayla couldn't get help? So, I am going to go for morning walks, challenge myself with long workouts in the evening, get out my stamps and card making stuff, work on some packages that are late getting out, meet with Melba, and just do the sweet things that make ME happy. We will still meet the college friends for camping next weekend, and I will still go over night once this week with my friend Patti to storyland, and to the beach with Aimee (just in case anyone of you girlies are reading this, I have not cancelled our plans, just mine for staying over on the cape)....After work today, I will be relieved of the stresses there, I have no boss right now (no one has been assigned to our store just yet), and I just changed positions at work (lateral move) and now in charge of 'Guest Experience'. A whole different outlook at work too...Positive..very much so.... I am going to keep on being honest with myself, and when someone asks me "How is your day going?" I can respond in a more positive way...because so far, since it is only 330am and I am showered and getting ready for work, I still posted today and can move on with my 'third' job, (my first one is taking care of myself, the second is my family).

Connection Beyond Friendship

I feel blessed everyday to have kept my relationships with my friends going. Each day I made an effort to reach out, communicate, keep everyone in the loop with eachother and what goes on in our lives. I guess when I thought of Creating and Keeping a Connection Mixed Media Memoirs topic on Meblas Be Alive Believe Be You I thought of all of those feminine spirits that I am connected with. Blogging is a new route for me, but over the years, I have always stayed connected with those that inspire me. I live far physically from many, but the times we chat on the phone and get together, it is like we were with eachother all year round. I try to get everyone together on a few occasions through out the years, and traditions have become very important to me. I have incorporated my vacations into seeing the girls, each and everyone makes me laugh, cry, close my eyes and just remember how important they are to me. Thank you to all the wonderful women that have filled my heart over the years with love. My new friends who I have met here when we moved to where my husband grew up, I have kept such an ongoing relationship with them. It has been wonderful to have babies together, and to sit back and watch them communicating amongst themselves. There are so so many others that I want to connect more with and when I do my craft swap, we will reconnect, it has been a while for some, but I think of you often. I am so grateful to have my life and rarely ever feel lonely. How can I when I have a neighbor that I can just pick up the phone and run over for a cup of tea or take a long walk with? God has been good to me, and has blessed me with so many people I can love and who accept my love for them. (as always, you can double click on the pic so you can read those words that I have written about our times together)

Vacation Part 2

Ok, so I traded my timeshare in this year and they called today to say they had a two bedroom available on the cape...last minute cancellation, when I found out where it was, I said, hmmm that is the one we own, and someone traded it back...well, we bought the timeshare for trading purposes only. We dont really like the place, not our style, but it was a good deal, valid for our lifetime and we use it when we go away other places....BUT it is close, reasonable to drive and just hang for a few days...we have a trip to WDW for the family planned in Oct, so there is no reason why I have to rush there...the timeshare we are staying in doesn't have a lot to it, really the place to sleep, eat, swim......but wouldnt you know it is extremely close to where Melba is having her gathering next year, check it out justBe...connected and as you read in her post, we tried to hook up a few weeks back, and she wasnt feeling well....hmmm...kinda funny how the only place available happens to be so close to where she is having this event...wierd? meant to be? Hopefully we can get together and maybe visit that scrapbook store she wrote about...and go check out the hotel...I have girlfriends already lined up to come down with their kids and spend each a night with us, so we will have visitors throughout the week, and we will leave to go camping the following weekend....now I just have to cancel my airline tickets and get a credit toward the next trip...so, I finally decided, Cape Cod it is....and I am at peace finally with my decision..... the girls on the cape...it will be so much fun having little sleepovers with Kaylas friends....making beaded necklaces, using the new stamps I bought to make her birthday cards, finishing up some scrapbooks, I can do all of this when she is sleeping at night....it will be fun...

August

Over the past four years, we have gotten three families together for a few days/week in the beginning of August. All families travel a lot, and the best part is the kids are all different ages, but they all get along so well. K had a ball last year, and remembers every detail of her trip to the Cape. This year we are all going camping for a weekend. I simply cannot wait. I cannot wait to see her playing along with the children of the girls I have known for over 15 years! It is so laid back, we just laugh and go with the flow of what the day will bring. We have never gone camping all together, but it is an affordable trip for everyone. We have a camper, and really dont get to use it much, so it will be fun to be in it again....we also are bringing a tent for one of the families....I am excited to do this, but haven't still decided what I am doing with my trip to WDW. My hubby says go, he has an estimate to work on that he has not found the space or time to do, and with us away, he would be able to accomplish this task stress free. I try to give him the space when necessary. In the past four years since he started his business, he has only asked one other time...so I know it is necessary. He balances his work and family life so well, I admire him....and love him for that....still deciding...taking the dog to the vet today so we will see what happens there and tomorrow will be a day that i will have to pack for both trips and go grocery shopping for our camping trip..I am on schedule, I wrote a list last week and did EVERYTHING, including eating healthy and exercising! I am psyched!

Tuesday

Today I went to go see a dear friend in Plymouth....she vacations once a year down there, sits by the pool and goes to Isaacs for dinner...she is with her husband part of the trip and then with her mom the other part....each year that she goes, I spend Tuesday of that week with her by the pool...it was great to see her....she now works for the same company I do, this is our third job together! She was thinking today what will be our next one! I made her a basket so she could have fun with it in her hotel room...little note cards, chocolates wrapped in pretty paper, a journal...little candies wrapped pretty....she loves each and every thing in life, and I had fun with this...we chatted about our friendship....how dear we are to eachother, and how our traditions we have together are so sweet....we have been doing the hotel thing for four years now....and we see eachother at least once more for our annual Holiday Party...just 8 of us...sometimes it is nowhere near the holidays! Because most of us are in retail! The last was a sendoff to a dear friend, J, he moved to Florida to open up a Nordstroms...we are all so connected...especially Me and D....our last venture will be to open a gift store, somewhere most likely on the south shore of Massachusetts...we had a wonderful time....it is so strange that we have gotten so close over the years, like we have know eachother for a lifetime...like we are sisters...I am grateful in my lifetime that I got a chance to have such a wonderful relationship with her...unconditional friendship....(oh and with my posts, a few people have said that they cant see the writing or the pics, double click away and I think it will make it larger)...I just did it and I can see the little items better:)

Thinking of You..Angel

Today

Live for Today, Not for To Tomorrow.....this is what I will have to go by....and not yesterday either....when I was pregnant, I had an amazing dream that I will have to write about....my little seed growing inside of me, 'the wise child' in my dream, took me to the 'mountain' and spoke these words to me..I had a rough pregnancy and thought something bad was going to happen to me or K...I was actually surprised that she was 'ok' when she was born...I thought the worse....and with all the prayers, and reike that my mom did when I was pregnant, when she stayed with me for two months to care for me, things went well...one little birth defect that I will share at a later time...nothing dramatic, just something that we will live with....she has the best doctor in the world for it, he is the chief at one of the most reknown hospitals in Boston..so K is in good hands....we have accepted that.........so here is what is bothering me today and affecting my spirits.....I called my mom to tell her about someone that had passed away....while I was working this weekend, My hubby visited our favorite breakfast joint, we have been going for 11 years, and our fav waitress has been serving us, we followed her to the new restaurant when the old one burned down...we became close with her....My hubby sent contractors over to her house and fixed some things for her, I believe he footed the bill too, he does this when he sees people suffering, he is amazing like that...her daughter used to work there too, she is 19 now, but took on a different career as a hair dresser, my hubby goes to her for his cuts...she makes him even more handsome than he is...we used to listen to our waitress, I will call her 'Angel'...for privacy purposes....she would give us articles of fundraisers she would coordinate for Cystic Fibrosis for her daughter, my hubbys hairdresser, she would talk to us about her experiences at the hospital K goes to for her birth defect...her wonderful experience with Reike with her daughter and alternative medicine, anything she could do to help her daughter...like we would all do....we gave her holiday bonuses as tips, we loved Angel..well I should say we Love Angel.....because she is still with us....she wants us to believe that...she suffered for a year, and she wrote a beautiful passage, I believe it was hers, there is no author attatched to it...if it isn't, I apologize for posting it and not giving credit to the author....but I have to believe this.....angel is the sun today, she is sound of the birds singing....I cant say the words, she is no longer to physically take care of her daughter....I will miss her smile, her words, I will see her someday...and her daughter will too....I am having trouble posting her words....but I will in the next post.....

Vacation

I have been spending the past 2 weeks trying to make a decision on a vacation....I know there are friends and family that keep in touch through reading this blog, and this is what I have been doing. I dont have a lot of free time and have been spending all of it obsessing over what to do...you see, usually the first week in August is when all of Kaylas babysitting, schools, shut down, so this is when I take a few days off, not a true vacation week from work, I usually take those in Jan and Oct....before and after the retail rush, and we always go away, usually to Disney World because I love it there, feel comfortable getting around by myself with K if I have to, because I totally know my way around there, I have been a lot since I did an internship down there in college and just make it part of my life. It is not expensive if you do it right, so I have gotten over feeling guilty....we usually went once a year, but I dont know what happened last year, it got out of control..I went twice alone with K, my hubby went once with K, and we went once together...I think at this age with K it is better to get away when on vacation, it is a stress reliever for all, we work so hard and just like to get away for our vacations...so I have been getting a little overwhelmed with what to do....we have passes for the year, so I am not worried about the price of tickets to the parks,....I dont eat much when I am there, eat light, no sit downs, etc...I got two roundtrip tickets for 250 for airfare, and the hotel will cost me anywhere from 500-800 depending on where I want to stay....do I take the value resort for 99, or do I take the Beach Club or Saratoga for 189/159..these hotels usually run about 400/night, but disney annual passholders get a discount...so for the two of us to go, for 4 nights, this aint a bad deal...if I stay here, I will get caught up in the humidity and allergies, the house will be trashed on a daily basis and I think I will just be stressed out....or will everything go so smooth that I will get massive amounts of projects done? When we get back on Thursday, we will leave on Friday to go camping, which is only an hour and a half away...we get together with my college friends and their families once a year and it is usually one the Cape, but no one really could spend the week so when they heard about the campground we were going to, they booked! I had already made the plans, so my hubby, K and myself could at least spend a few days together on my vacation....this will give my hubby a few days to wrap up some jobs, and relax so he CAN go away for a few days......He says I should go, he would...last year he decided to go the day after Thanksgiving when we were driving back from NY, and he said, book me a trip, so I did on his NExtel and a few hours later, he was off with her for a long few days, and he didnt resist staying in the contemporary on the top floor, he doesnt obsess like me, he just does it...and feels good about it....you see, I grew up on a conservative budget, but was fulfilled with what life gave me...now I have a little more financial stuff to play around with, and I feel guilty, because I dont know if I want to work this much, but if I do, I might as well treat myself, because if I dont, my hubby may! so, I am just feeling guilty about this, my friends roll their eyes when I tell them I am going again....its ok, it is just where I am in my life, I need to escape to somewhere I feel comfortable and need to return to my retail management position with a relaxed attitude....which for me is my biggest struggle in life, I get worked up even over this...I am a mess....one of my peers at work calls me a train wreck..he is right..I am....but he is the one that called me to tell me that southwest was running a special at 59/each way when he knew I had already made up my mind NOT to go.....help!

Craft Overload

I have been buying some stamps from Michaels and having fun with them..then I went to one of those Stampin' Up parties where everything is so structured...I enjoyed it, but I dont like playing by the rules! I invested in some pearl dust stuff and some pastel chalks and a few sets of stamps...we made some cards, which I enjoyed, but I dont like the shape/size of the card. I make all my cards different sizes so I will ahve to experiment. I love the background stamps with the clear stuff you stamp and then rub pearl dusting powder on it. I originally started getting into this recently, because I want to make K's birthday invitations for September. Her theme this year will be a Garden theme with flowers and bugs (something for the boys and something for the girls). I have lots of ideas already, I think about it all year round. Any cute ideas for a garden themed party? I usually get too involved..I want to keep it simple, One craft, One set of favors, One Game.....I get carried away with these parties...another business I want to get into...

I want to make a commitment to myself and STOP spending so much on crafts, etc. and work with what I have. I seem to buy so much and do so little with it....I want to finish some of my jewlery, get going on her antique miniature doll house and furniture, make lots of cards, and thats it! Maybe some journals too.....how to you keep yourself committed to what is in front of you? I seem to have such an issue with it..I need to start writing lists for my projects and follow through.....

Beading

I dont know why or how I took up another hobby...beading..I had fun this time with it..at the beach today, I created two long ones with black cord and antique looking silver beads. The large beads at the front of the necklaces are from napkin rings on clearance at target. I love greens and browns...earth tones...they came out really nice, although you cant really see them well in the picture. I you double click, you can see them more closely. I started out with braclets over the past few days, but they are just 'ordinary and I wanted to try something different. I wear a lot of long sleeve ts in the winter and fall and I am always looking for a longer necklace to pop out on the shirt. Usually necklaces are just not the right length for me, so I made these longer. These are going to be gifts, just have to create some packages that I am about to send out. I learned how to crimp on the beach today so now I have ideas for many more! What type of necklaces do you wear? I like silver and black or white gold. My wedding ring in platium and so are my earrings, and I normally dont change my earrings, in fear I will lose them...I like long neclaces and a funky ring once in a while. I really like the black cord. I have many more beads to play with, and the thing I love about beading, is if you dont like something, the only thing you have wasted is the string, and not all of it! you can just restring them. I have a few shirts that have ties and a few beads and I want to add to them....but of course I just dont like to buy all my beads, I like to 'find' them and whenever I found those knapkin rings on clearance, I couldnt wait to get creating! I always add a bead or two to my gift tags...making it more sparkly...

Friday's Finds

I want to participate and I just can't get into my flicker account today, need to revisit my account and see what is going on, but I really wanted to participate in http://www.1of4sisters.blogspot.com/ (Maryann's)((http://www.flickr.com/groups/fridaysfinds/ Friday's Finds. I went to a book fair in my little town today and my gosh, it was a mob scene! People were lined up with their bags and boxes and they had their books to price out what the worth of the books were and their calculators ready. We were not 'allowed' to 'look' at the tables until the church bells went off at 10:00. I had got their earlier because across the street there was a yard sale. I picked up a bunch of stuff for 6.00, a few dolls for Kayla, a few baskets for goodies that i want to send out, and an old pattern for doll clothes that I will cut up and use as either paper dolls or greeting cards. I found four magazines, including two Better Homes and Garden Mags from the 1940's. Adorable! They are all December issues and I have already cut them up and I am making Christmas cards out of them..Christmas in July?! Maryanne what have you done to me!? Ok, so I find these little packages of 'Bridge tally sheets'. for .25, they look like little greeting cards, I will use them for tags or little cards, oh my gosh, the endless possibilities of paper! So I am having heart palpatations from my finds today! I cannot wait to craft tonight when everyone goes to bed. My hubby's cousin was there setting up his band to play at the book fair, and his wife was manning the childrens book table (Oh the books that I got there! vintage children books for .25/each!) This will keep me busy for a while! My little one had fun picking out a few dollies for 1.00 each. She carried a little red basket around with her. You see, I always liked to rummage around, but I am usually working when these events come about in my town. I want to go back, but I have so many projects going at once, I need to settle down and get going! At the fair today, this lady that was working there, said "I love your shirt"..she said it a few times until I realized she was talking to me..I usually dress plain, but this looks like a vintage shirt with some soft pink velvet washed tie ups at the top and some sparkly pink little beading...pretty....She said it reminded here of the movie she saw last night Devil Wears Prada?? I dont get to go out to the movies and she had asked if I saw it, and told me it reminded her of the movie, ok, so what does this mean, obviously it is a compliment. I dont get too many compliments, probably because I usually overwhelm every conversation. A few ladies compliments my little girls dress, one woman, said, "I love the way that you dress her". It was a 5.99 dress from the childrens place that is like tie dye layers, long....tank dress...we both felt 'pretty' today...what a lovely day! I didnt think I would have the energy to go out with my hubby and little one tonight, he wants to go to the movies, but with this day fullfilled with good things, I have come out of the depression I was in this am....(I drank an ice coffee at 7pm, went to Michaels, bought more beads and stamps and made braclets in my bed until 1pm, wired from the coffee...so that sort of made me take a step back this morning from feeling good.) Happy weekend! Can anyone who is reading this give me any helpful short hints, if not too much trouble how to set you up on my sidebar! I want to get more involved, and read more and connect more!

Day with the Cousins

This morning we packed up to go to a parade. It is tradition for hubby's family and at first we were going to go away for a few days, and my hubby silently without much fussing, make it obvious that it was important to go to the parade that she has been going to for 39 years. How could I argue with this?! We have been having a little bit of a hard time lately, and thought we needed a few days away together, but it all worked out. When we were packing, my little one decided she wanted to pack some toys and a cup of water that she helped herself to from the refrig because she didnt want to get 'hot' at the parade. I thought it was just the cutest thing that she things she needs to take care of herself like this, so I carried the bag around with the cup of water, making sure not to spill it. She was so proud of herself. We got to see her cousins, which live locally but because of 'family dynamics' does not get to see them much. It was a lovely day, with the exception of kids almost getting killed by cars in the parade because they wanted CANDY. At the end of the day Kayla decided she wanted to have her own parade in the driveway, and started throwing around her candy at her cousins. She was so tired, she was being goofy. It meant so much to my mother in law that we were there today, more than I knew when I was actually planning to go away. Had we decided to go away, it would have been her first year since she has met me that I have not been there. The sacrifice I made today actually was a good one, I was happy there, and comfortable, more so than I have been in the past. I always try to consider everyones' feelings and at times feel like I give myself the shaft, but today was a great decision. I felt the family feeling that has been missing for many years, a lot has happened between all of us, and today, it was just sharing art, talents, and sweet loving conversations. It was beautiful...and I cannot wait to send a thank you to her for making it so special...

Mother-in-Law

Today we just got back from my mother in laws house...she is quite the artistic one, and I have never really taken the time to tell her how much I appreciate her passions and love for her art. It means more to me since I have been blogging. Today was the best day we have had together in a long time. There is usually some kind of stress that gets into the way of having a very sweet time, and today there was nothing. She looks wonderful, and every inch of her home is filled with things that she has created. I had a lot of trouble rotating photos, so this is what it is, or else, I would not post tonight, and I try to stay committed at least most days. The darker photo is of her art room upstairs. She paints mostly there. The second picture is a photo of a gingerbread mold (girl and boy) that she has hanging in her kitchen. I told her I must borrow these around the holidays to make treats for Kayla and her friends. She told me that she bought it at a 'five and dime' when they first moved to this town. They are just an absolutely amazing size mold! I cannot wait! Here is also a picture of most of her fiesta ware, I say that because I went into the basement to get something and I saw boxes and boxes of the stuff. She found this shelf probably at a garage sale or thrift shop. Her ENTIRE house is furnished from a garage sale. She has always been a second hand shopper and I have to say, her years experience with this is more than anyone I have ever met. Each part of her home is sweetly decorated and has such a touch of art everywhere. There is also a picture where she has a small antique desk where she works on her laptop. When I got here, I began taking pictures of her place, complimenting her and telling her how much I have always appreciated her decorating skills. She has always given me gifts that have come from thrift stores and antique shops and I have treasured everything she has ever done for me. She does all of this without effort, with much confidence and such grace. She has given us the most beautiful oriental rugs, some that date as late as the 1800's....I told her about my new blogging stuff, and she was very interested. She told me she is going to a thrift shop on Saturday that is going out of business and that she wants me to go to check it out, everything is 50-75% off. I showed her my beginner beading stuff and she lit up, brought me upstairs, and showed me the boxes and boxes of stuff for children's beading that she picked up at a yard sale for my little girl. I couldn't believe it. Then she showed me the book she bought last week for learning how to bead, along with the lot of precious stones and jewlery that a friend of hers gave her. She showed me earrings that she bought for a quarter each that we took and tied a string around and I showed her how it would make the most beautiful necklace if we had a little leather rope. We had so much fun. It was wierd how we connected today. Like two little girls in a craft store. I made a necklace and two bracelets today, they aren't my favorites, but it is a learning process. The best part of the day was that we totally appreciated eachothers talents. And I told her about my creativity swap and she is very interested and excited about coming! I want to make more time with her, after today, I have really taken a step back to realize how much I appreciate that she does and that the things she loves, I do to.....

This Season I Will...

This Week's topic for Melbas Be Alive Believe Be You Mixed Media Memoirs is 'This Season I will". I seem to make these commitments, and document them each and every day. The night time comes and all hell breaks loose, I don't know why. My sleep pattern is my biggest struggle and I don't know how to fix it. We went as far as buying a new bed when it was not close to time to changing our mattress. As the few who read my blog have commented, I am too hard on myself and need to breath, relax, take some yoga, etc. These are things that have improved in my life greatly, but I still have a long journey. I have let go of many of my stresses, guilt about not spending time with my family, friends. I have conquered that and make commitments that I have followed through and through with. I am happy with my relationships, no regrets! I have in the past been very aggressive at taking classes at the gym, completing hour classes of power step, power yoga, achieving moves that I thought only the incredibly strong minded could do. I used to be solid, no jiggling. Now everything seems to have settled on my skinny bones, layers and layers of fat, yes my girlfriends, fat. And yes I am fat. I hide it very well with clothing and style. I am not a rag a muffin, I dress nicely and spend what I need to on myself to 'try' to feel good. I do have bins upon bins of clothing that won't fit me. I want to get rid of them and work on losing weight and then getting pregnant again. I am approaching 39. At Melbas event, which is ironically held at a turning point in my life (the big 40) justBe...connected , yes ON THAT DAY. What a blessing! I have something WONDERFUL to do on a day that I have been DREADING. I truthfully thing about losing weight EVERYDAY and having another baby. I can afford a trainer, whatever it would take, but I just cant stay focused. My job soaks up my physical energy. I am beat by the time I get home, enough for loving family moments and picking up the house. I HAVE to squeeze in dieting and exercising. I know all the tools, the ways to incorporate it into my lifestyle and was doing so so well until there was a death in the neighborhood, and could not get back on track. I sink, I get depressed when others are hurting. If you tell me something sad, I bleed inside, I have been this sensitive since I was a child. I used to want to go after women that were yelling at their children. I need to stay on top of myself. I need to do this. I have several people in my life that I can look to for support on this, I just am stubborn when it comes to looking for help with my dieting. I want Kayla to have a sibling, but cannot until I lose about 20 pounds. I did it once before, I need to do it again. I need to start today. I will, I want to. I will have to bore with you the details on this blog, I don't know where else I can feel comfortable with this right now. I want to feel good in my clothes. I saw pictures of myself from last weekend and I looked MUCH better than I felt, it made me feel great to see them. I didn't want my mother to take pictures and have my dad see how fat I got, but was relieved when I saw them in the mail, my clothing seemed to take away from the blubber. This is the only thing I would really change right now, I need to feel good and I think it would change a lot in my life. There is a parade on Tuesday and I don't want to go because I am fat. When my grandmother died, I didn't go see her before she passed away because I was fat. Please don't feel badly for me, I know I am strong enough to take responsibility. I need to find the time and energy to take care of myself, journaling, crafting has helped, but I need to take it a step further. Between work and caring for family, I need to fit it in, I might have less time for crafting, but I need to do this.