Reaching Out

For the first time reaching out for help, I finally got some that inspired me to do something different, take a look at how I handle things and be the strong one that had to explain things to K. Long story short, numbers were given in error to me, people to contact in the wrong departments, voicemail issues, IVR issues, you see, I am an advocate for my child and just dont stop until I get answers and information that I am comfortable with. Today, my daughter, went in for a VCUG. If you read about it on the internet, there is a lot of tough stories. Trauma, stress, pain, discomfort. I even have a nurse friend whose daughter went through it and she had to hold her down the whole time. I heared it is invasive, painful, and horrible.

Today was PERFECT.

I was on a plan of when to tell her, what to say, what words to use, what items she would pick up to go to the procedure.

She cried for about 3 seconds. She said she wanted to go home. She did not even FEEL the catheter going in (when I asked her on the way home, how did it feel when the doctor put that thing in your pee pee, she said it felt WARM! AH!). My little spitfire was watching the xray TV and commenting how cool it was that she could see the tube and her pee pee on the TV!

All worries are gone...she is done with this and she does not have Kidney Relux. The UTI and 105 fevers were just a bad combination, probably some horrible flu mixed up with a UTI. Un freaking believable she is....I just cant describe how proud I am of my little angel.

She asked me if from now on she could go to Childrens Hospital in Boston when she gets sick. I asked her why and she said because nothing hurts there...

I know I got all worked up but who wouldn't...

Thank you to my new friends at CaC for your support, I just absolutely got through this with your support and these child life specialists that I reached out to! I am nominating one of them for an award that they give out each month. My letters to their whole staff will go out tonight....

halleluhia!

Thank you

You all know who you are, there a a few that have really given me some words of encouragement through emails and prayers. Thank you, I am sitting here at peace with the situation with K and what she needs to go through. We have packed a bag of her favorite things, which she helped to pick out and is excited about the whole thing!@ Imagine that! She picked out her favorite blanket, not one of those little ones, it is queen sized fuzzy and purple, hey whatever works! Her favorite pillow, cd player and hannah montanna CD is in the bag, two stuffed animals that they will demonstrate the procedure on before they go along with anything. I am wearing a necklace that I got in my first swap, it says Have Faith, and wearing my pink and white Life is Good Shirt....so is K, I have one for her too...I also contacted a group at the hospital that is called Child Life Resources that have helped me get together a plan for all of this, when to tell her, how and what to tell her about the procedure. I reached out and feel like taking that necklace off after this is over and giving it to a special girl named Karen who just walked me through everything and got all the specialists to call me and speak with me about everything. God Bless Her!

Thank you again..Life IS GOOD

Happy Easter

I did it, I managed to work another retail holiday weekend and still make time to take K to see the Easter Bunny at the mall before work today. I am so glad I did, because little miss thanked me on the way home, "Mommy thank you so much for taking me to see the Easter Bunny, and for getting my picture taken, I love my pictures". My daughter is always so grateful and appreciative. Every single person she saw at the mall, she would stop to tell them she was on her way to see the Easter Bunny and she would go on and on with so much to say. She is my little bunny. We made these cute little felt bunnies all dressed with different bows in their hair, necklaces, that she put all around the foam spring houses that we made. She llllllloves them. Whenever she says the word Love, she drags the L out..LLLLLLLLLove...I LLLLLLLove that she does this..I bought her a pair of cute shoes the other day, she said I llllllllllllllllove my shoes....well, I hope everyone has a Happy Easter if you celebrate it....

Movies

Tammy, from , Mimmsical Creations! has hosted as part of CAC s Getting to Know You - Let's go to the movies
For week one - I thought we'd start off with one of my favorite things - The Movies. I love movies - all types! I am hard pressed to pick favorites, but here goes!

Name your all-time favorite movie! (Or if you're like me, narrow it down to your top five!)

My favorite movie of all time was the Little Mermaid, I was doing an internship at the time down at WDW and my little brother, I think he was in the 7th grade, was down visiting me. We went and it was amazing. We both loved Disney movies as children and as he was growing up, I used to buy them for him. We have a very special relationship and to have him there with me while I was home sick, was sweet.

What genre of movie do you like best?
I like dramas the most, romantic comedy too.

What movie made you cry the most?
9/11. It was mixed emotions, I was crying with happiness for those that were reunited with their loved ones, but at the same time remembering the pain we all felt that day.

Have you ever applauded during a movie in the theatre? Which one? If not, what would make you do that? I dont remember ever doing that, but would not be embarrassed to do it either, I am a pretty expressive person. The last movie though, the two little kids with me did applaud at hte Teenage mutant ninja turtle movie.

Do you own any soundtracks from movies? Which is your favorite and why did the music inspire you? I have the rent cd, went to see the play and the movie. I just like to crank it up and clean the house, it makes me want to dance....the songs are very meaningful...No day like today, I think is one of the songs that really inspired me...

Is there a particular actor or actress who inspires you? Why do you like him or her?
I like Meryl Streep, she makes me laugh and being a serious person all the time, I like her humor.

Is there a particular actor or actress who you just dislike and will not see their movies? Why?
I dont know why, I used to have a thing for tom cruise, but for some reason, now, he just doesnt thrill me.

Have you ever dreamed of being an actor? Which role would be your dream role?
I used to host the neighborhood plays and liked acting and doing shows, but never dreamed of being an actress....I am a little shy (most would not know that about me), but think I am unique from anyone, my dream would be like a healer going around making people feel better physically and mentally, helping children...

If there was ever a movie made of your life, who should star as you?
I dont really see a lot of movies and really have not been able to see myself as anyone else...people say I sound like the Nanny (because I live in reserved New England and my Long Island Accent and whine and nasily voice makes people cringe sometimes)

Getting to Know Me

I am trying to participate more with Melbas CaC. Tuesday is Getting to Know you Day and I am going to attempt to answer as many of these cool questions before my little one gets up, I try not to be on the computer or phone in the hours that she is awake, I don't get a lot of time with her and those hours are cherished....so here goes...

What did you eat last?
hmmmm I had a late night snack, don't sleep well and diet all day and then get up in the middle of the night and eat, I had a bunny sugar cookie that I bought for Kaylas playdate on Tuesday, should have sent over the left overs!

What about YOUR love life? Anyone special? Tell us about him/her!
My husband, well it has been a hard few years for us to spend quality time together, he is an artist (a general contractor that custom builds and designs all of his work). He is sweet and quiet, we have been married 17 years. The biggest part of him that I love is his way with my daughter, I just love to see her eyes meet his...she truly loves him...

What is it like where you live?
When we were driving around local towns to see where we would want to buy a house over 10 years ago, my husband started mocking some country songs, and pretending he was playing a banjo...it is very laid back, mostly gambrel cape, cape and salt box style homes. Also, there really aren't any stores except like a general store, very country, lots of farms. I love our yard, my darling husband also has a knack for landscaping and the dahlias he brought us come from hundred of years ago from an estate he used to manage...he just has a beautiful way of taking care of our yard..before we bought this home, we lived in Miles Standish's son's home, Alexander Standish, built in 1666, and the home we live in today is designed just like his, so this style home has been around for years. I love the history of where I live know, but do miss the hospitality of Long Island folks.

What are YOUR favorite features about yourself?
I have bedroom eyes, hazel color and a tiny mouth with tiny lips, my daughter has the same, when someone meets here that has known me forever, they comment on those features and how she has inherited those from me...

What deep thoughts have YOU been pondering upon?
Losing weight and having a baby, consumes my thoughts everyday..Cant do one with out the other, and neither seems to be doing well...

List 2 random things you love about life:
The one thing I love is spending time with people that can appreciate the tiny things in life. I wrote a post about a recent weekend I had, shopping at the five and dime, the general store. I realized my little one doesn't take a lot to please either, bringing myself back to what I loved as a little girl, my relationship with my mom and how simple things just made me so happy.

I love watching my daughter create drawings. She usually does not like coloring books, she likes plain paper and tries to recreate something that she has seen, she also has a spiritual way of creating her drawings, she has made a picture of what she thinks God looks like with a lighting bolt going into the side of his body (she calls it the spirit of God)

How did YOU find out about CAC?
I worked with Melbas hubby and anytime I would create something he would mention how creative his wife was. Whenever I saw her in the store, I wanted to get together for a play date with her, we seemed to have a sweet spirit in common. She handed me her postcards, I followed for a while reading her blog then tried one of my own. I am working more on relationships that I have right now in my life, which is most important and I hope to join CaC, as long as I am not uncomfortably pregnant or in the middle of an adoption, I am taking it slow committing to that right now.

What do YOU love most about spring?
The fresh air. I love the winter too, we still go indoor iceskating every Tuesday, but the air brings a new energy to me. I have thought about starting to exercise again, I love to eat fruit and salads, but somehow it just doesn't go with winter, retail and the holidays. I love the lifted spirits of those around me, you can feel it when the air is fresh and light.

Now I must go dring my coffee (cinammin swirl); excercise (dont know how just yet); and listen to the birds outside and start breathing in the fresh air. And my darling is still sleeping!

Peace

I have to post, I just got back from a weekend away with my lovely sister in law, Julia, and my nephew Cody. We went to a wonderful place in the mountains, in a town lined with the most amazing little shops. There was a restaurant as a part of the hotel called Flatbreads. This place was the most amazing dinner I have had ever. We were greeted by the most amazing staff, laid back and hippie style, and had flatbread made of from all organic and fresh ingredients. Check it out....here....http://www.americanflatbread.com/philosophy/the_oven.htm..this is where they cooked my pizza...and here is a copy of the most amazing menu...http://www.americanflatbread.com/restaurants/our_menu.htm..we had a special..a veggie one with pesto, goat cheese....with the a light balsamic vinegar brushed on the crust....we stayed here...http://www.easternslopeinn.com/ in a suite behind the hotel with a full kitchen and jacuzzi tub..just what the two of us needed...and our favorite stores....http://twistedgiraffe.com/...the owner, Nella, what a sweetheart...when we went into her beautiful boutique (check out some of her stuff, it is so adorable!) she greeted us with her doggie on the counter..his name was Romeo..well, come to find out, it is the thing to do in the stores on the street, we met many cats and dogs that owners bring to work with them...we went about one mile down the street to a little dog treet store and got Romeo some of his favorites (when we told the girls that worked there who we were getting a surprise for, they knew who we were talking about, one of the girls claimed to be the doggie god mother!) My little one was just in love with Romeo, we walked all the way back a mile past all the toys stores, ice cream stores, candy stores, she wanted NOTHING to do with them. When we got to the Twisted Giraffe, Nella and Romeo met us again and Nella let Kayla sit behind the counter, Kayla was amazed the doggie licked her face and Kayla fed him treets, Nella sent Kayla off with coconut and apple scented bubble bath with her and her cousin used in the jacuzzi tub with their bathing suits on when we got back. She spoke of Romeo all night, so we travelled back again to the doggie store, more treets and a charm to go around his collar, Romeo and Nella didnt make it to work today, but we left the bag with another shop owner next door that was sure to deliver it the next day she came back...Nella informed me her shop will be closing on Thursday, due to personnal matters, she wanted to fill me in because she knew how attached Kayla was already...Everywhere we went, everything we ate, everything we bought, there was a special flavor of sweetness to it all, a special flavor that not everyone likes, only a few people in my life that can appreciate the lovely things in life, and one is Julia, and her son Cody, I am so glad to have spent this time with them, to learn that there are people in my life that there are no other expectations than loving eachother, appreciating the basics in life....my sweet sister in law Julia, I wont get into her personnal life here, but this girl has been through so much and continues to keep her body well, practicing yoga, working on her soul, I look up to my little sister and am glad to have spent the time with her...I will post pictures later! Had to share my wonderful time with everyone!

Peace

I have to post, I just got back from a weekend away with my lovely sister in law, Julia, and my nephew Cody. We went to a wonderful place in the mountains, in a town lined with the most amazing little shops. There was a restaurant as a part of the hotel called Flatbreads. This place was the most amazing dinner I have had ever. We were greeted by the most amazing staff, laid back and hippie style, and had flatbread made of from all organic and fresh ingredients. Check it out....here....http://www.americanflatbread.com/philosophy/the_oven.htm..this is where they cooked my pizza...and here is a copy of the most amazing menu...http://www.americanflatbread.com/restaurants/our_menu.htm..we had a special..a veggie one with pesto, goat cheese....with the a light balsamic vinegar brushed on the crust....we stayed here...http://www.easternslopeinn.com/ in a suite behind the hotel with a full kitchen and jacuzzi tub..just what the two of us needed...and our favorite stores....http://twistedgiraffe.com/...the owner, Nella, what a sweetheart...when we went into her beautiful boutique (check out some of her stuff, it is so adorable!) she greeted us with her doggie on the counter..his name was Romeo..well, come to find out, it is the thing to do in the stores on the street, we met many cats and dogs that owners bring to work with them...we went about one mile down the street to a little dog treet store and got Romeo some of his favorites (when we told the girls that worked there who we were getting a surprise for, they knew who we were talking about, one of the girls claimed to be the doggie god mother!) My little one was just in love with Romeo, we walked all the way back a mile past all the toys stores, ice cream stores, candy stores, she wanted NOTHING to do with them. When we got to the Twisted Giraffe, Nella and Romeo met us again and Nella let Kayla sit behind the counter, Kayla was amazed the doggie licked her face and Kayla fed him treets, Nella sent Kayla off with coconut and apple scented bubble bath with her and her cousin used in the jacuzzi tub with their bathing suits on when we got back. She spoke of Romeo all night, so we travelled back again to the doggie store, more treets and a charm to go around his collar, Romeo and Nella didnt make it to work today, but we left the bag with another shop owner next door that was sure to deliver it the next day she came back...Nella informed me her shop will be closing on Thursday, due to personnal matters, she wanted to fill me in because she knew how attached Kayla was already...Everywhere we went, everything we ate, everything we bought, there was a special flavor of sweetness to it all, a special flavor that not everyone likes, only a few people in my life that can appreciate the lovely things in life, and one is Julia, and her son Cody, I am so glad to have spent this time with them, to learn that there are people in my life that there are no other expectations than loving eachother, appreciating the basics in life....my sweet sister in law Julia, I wont get into her personnal life here, but this girl has been through so much and continues to keep her body well, practicing yoga, working on her soul, I look up to my little sister and am glad to have spent the time with her...I will post pictures later! Had to share my wonderful time with everyone!

Have Faith

Georgia from http://justdandily.blogspot.com/ sent me the most beautiful package through Monday's swap at http://www.bealivebelievebeyou.com/create/. I dont blog much and dont really have it down, so bear with me. What I do know is I have a lot of beautiful things and ways to express, so I dont let my technical inexpertise turn me away. Anyway, of couse I checked out Georgia's blog and noticed her fascinating necklaces that she makes. When she emailed me, I told her whatever she wanted to send I would love, and of course in my little heart, I would die for one of her necklaces, but never like to pressure anyone, I know how finding time to create sometimes gets! I received one of her beautiful necklaces with the phrase "Have Faith". I consider myself one of the most spiritual people I know, and my daughter has such a sweet soul, she seems like she has lived before, her thoughts are so inspiring and I have been thinking of going to a Unitarian Church that the owner of her preschool goes too. She says that Kaylas thoughts about Love, life after death, heaven and God are a lot deeper than any kid she has ever run into and that she thinks her church would be a good place for her. I have been trying to decide how I will find the time on Sundays, which I do work every other and travel a lot of the weekends off, to get together with her to go to her church. I have done a lot for the church, prepared the gift bags for the annual holiday party that they have for the battered children and women's shelter (and spent hours on each gift bag!, all 25 of them!), I have been silently doing this for years, because I love her teacher, she is a mentor to me, and I truly believe that the school had an opening for her days before it began two years ago (now you can NEVER get a spot at this school, it very sought after), well, some spirit brought us there. So with this necklace, I just wore it like it was a cross today, I love black cords on necklaces, have always wanted to get one, and always wanted to wear something inspirational around me, showing people what I am all about. I felt like good spirits were with me today. I have recently began researching "approval addiction' and think I fit the mold well, and have been working on making decisions for the right reasons and not trying to please everyone around me. It is wierd, I am at a different stage in my spiritual development, and then I am paired up with georgia, who sends me a necklace that reads "Have Faith"...she also sent along some magnets made of bottle caps, that read Play, Inspire, Create and Live...hmm..did she know that I have quotes all around my house made of silver letters that I place black and white photos behind to keep me reminded of the simple sweet things in life?! I am having problems posting photos and will as soon as I can! I had this beautiful art next to my bed last night laid out on my nightstand, ...I have never seen anything like these..Georgia, thank you.....and thanks to Maryann http://firstborn.wordpress.com/ who hosted this swap, and to Melbahttp://www.bealivebelievebeyou.com/ who created CaC! You girls are all an inspiration to me!