Sweet Memories

I am a career woman with one child, striving to find a better balance between life/work. I enjoy documenting memories, and am striving to get more creative with sharing them with others. I struggle with making decisions, and am seeking a stronger support system and want to learn from others' experiences. I want to connect more with those that have a sweet sensitive spirit.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Nightmare

The hardest part of my nightmare is over, after two years. Without saying much here, lets say that it caused me to go out on a mental health LOA for five months. I do not know anyone in my life that has been through what we have been through as a family. The hardest part for most involved is over, however, the events will leave scars on my family forever. I want to get back to feeling good, but it will take time to heal. There are no support groups for what my family has encountered, I may start one. I have reached out to a few in my community that have sufferred something similar, but not exactly. I sometimes do not know how to help my daughter through recovering from this pain and suffering. She has experienced things that no 8 year old should have to. She is strong, but this pain will follow her through life. I want to continue to make the right decisions for us as a family. The social aspect has been the hardest, having lies about you spread amongst the community, the stares that I get when showing up to events that my old friends wish I didnt show up to. I have gotten no support from the community I live in and people wish I would just move away. No one knows the story, the lies. The believe one side of the story and those that have spoken about it. I have not spoken, I have respect the privacy of all lives involved. My reputation has been ruined, and people look at me in a way that I am a trouble woman, living a lie. I am not. I know the truth and will hold that truth close to my heart, and not hurt others by letting my side of the story out. I have to live a life now with caution in creating friendships. I need to move on from here with some sort of plan, just dont know what that is. No one can give me advice, I have to make the choices from here, what is best for my family, especially my daughter who has been robbed of her childhood for many years. Our government and systems that we have in place have treated us unfairly and there is a lot of healing to do, not sure if I have the strength to fight these systems anymore, however, I want them to know that I am not going to give up and into them. Although we 'won', there is no victory here, just sad spirits that this was brought upon our family. I hope that someday I can move in a direction that will be begin to help heal our wounds. I will start by blogging and go from there.

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