Motivation - Zero

I finished my dad's package last night after Kayla went to bed at 10pm AGAIN. I cannot deal with her late night bed time anymore. I tried putting her to bed for an hour, starting at 8pm, read her three books, told her a 'Princess Valerie and Prince Justin (we make it up everynight...names she chose)' story, rubbed her back and promised her that if she stays in her bed like a big girl, she can SOMEDAY have a sleepover that she has been asking about. No luck, running around like a chicken up and down the stairs laughing. She just does not listen. Sent her downstairs to my husband's office, she fell asleep on a chair down there and he carried her up to bed. Anyone out there with sleeping disorders?! It is so hard, I still insist on 'trying' to follow through with the routine, just doesn't seem to work very well. I printed out pics for my dad and did a little scrapbooking with them. All he ever wants is pictures, but I picked him up some great deals at Old Navy, polos on sale for 10.00, a l ittle windbreaker on sale for 11.00, so he ended up with a little red, white and blue package along with three shirts, a jacket and a hat, and lots of cute pics of his only grandchild. Today Kayla told me she is ready to have a 'brudder'. She wants me to go to the doctor and have the doctor put one in my belly. Well, my little sunshine, that may be the way it will have to work, because the only time your dad and I are home together is when we are fighting to put you to bed! Maybe if you go to bed every night at 8pm then Mommy and Daddy can get going on that little 'brudder'. I have been really thinking of another, and just wish I was 20 lbs lighter, then I would go for it...just can't seem to stick to a diet, I will lose, gain, lose, gain. Last week I started with my 'weekly commitments' to myself. Yogurt and fruit every day for breakfast; this week is 6 glasses of water a day and next week salad with chicken for lunch...each week I will try to add something...not happy in a bathing suit! not at all! from my waist down, no sarong or skirt could cover this! I am too tired to do anything more about it...I woke up with a sore throat, have taken two doses of generic cold medicine, feel sick to my stomach. I need to get out for work by 1pm and be ready for two days of dropping her off tomorrow morning and being back to work at 9am, get her Karate outfit all ironed and cleaned because she has it two days in a row and it has to be squeaky clean or sesai will give her shit. Oh and the babysitter just called, dress her in something that she get get squishy strawberries all over her because they are going strawberry picking (I love Susan, she is the best with Kayla! She always keeps the days she watches her filled with something so fun) I have special compensation at work because I spoke up and said it is too much for me to find someone to watch Kayla at 630 am on Friday mornings, get her there and then get to work by 7am (the required time we 'should' be there). Too much..this Friday morning thing...I have to 'get my butt moving' but feel too sick to! I need to go write out a small list of what I 'need' to do and forget the rest. Kayla is pulling her closet apart and now she is telling me she lost her spider man bandaid and I need to find it.....humm....let me sift through all the crap she has thrown around the house already today that I am too sick to pick up after....well she settled for a new one! Hallelujia!I just need a housecleaner, a babysitter, a therapist and a doctor to impregnate me with a turkey baster then I will feel like I have accomplished something today. Sorry to complain but this is just how I feel right now!